Taylor

Taylor is 17 years old now. It is hard to believe that she is so grown up. I wish she saw in herself what I see her. She is such a beautiful girl. I pray that one day hopefully sooner than later she realizes that we love her and she will let us back in to her life. We have struggled with her for so many years. It is hard to remember having her with us on a daily basis. I miss the way our family used to be. I know that growing up with divorced parents having two homes and 4 parents must have been tough. I just want her home again. I hate to see her so unhappy. Maybe one day she will reflect on her life and realize that she had a pretty good one and will let go of the hatred she has for Mike, Kelli and I. I do not know why but for a long time she has thought that we treat Kelli better than we treat her. I think a lot of that comes from the amount of time we spent with Kelli on or around the golf course. Kelli always wanted us there she would call to say when and where everything was taking place. We would try to find out when Taylors games were and where but Taylor would not let us know until the day of, sometimes minutes before something was starting. How are we suppose to get there in minutes if we are working especially since it was sometimes out of town. Besides the fact that she did not want us there to begin with. I will never forget the Cross Country match that Mike and I went to that she ran right past us after the race was over and never spoke to us, never acknowledged we were there. That was very painful I was hurting and Mike was hurting. I remember many details of her childhood, helping her to read, teaching her to tie her shoes, teaching her to ride a bike, baking cupcakes for her class and she did not call me on Mothers Day or on my birthday this year. Do you know how much that hurts. To pour your heart and soul into helping raise a child that you know has a good heart but that does things like that to hurt your feelings. My heart is breaking and I pray everyday the one day she will love me again. But past the hurting I still only want what is best for her. I try to get close when she is home but we never know when that will be some weeks she comes 2-3 days then we may go 2 weeks without seeing her at all. She has such potential to do great things she is smart and beautiful and could do anything. I pray that she sees that in herself and never losses sight of her family and how much we love her.